Journey to Your Deepest Self

Becoming


Ben

(written one week before my son’s high school graduation)

My son
I see you growing
Not knowing
Shaking, quaking
So insecure
Will the world welcome you?
Will the world value you?
Is there a place for you?

Trying to reassure you
So I can feel secure
That’s it’s okay
That what I’ve done
As a mother
Is okay
A game I’ve played
With you
With myself
Letting go
Doesn’t matter now

As you step into yourself
Your own world
Reflecting
What lies inside of you
Working to shape you
Into who you are
It’s there waiting
To be discovered
By you alone

My son
So insecure
Are we
Together
Learning
To let go
Of what has been
And the many stories
That we’ve worked so hard
To form
To create
A bright world
Of love
Is not based on any story
Of our making
Of our past
It’s all new now

So insecure
How wise you are
To go there
To lead me there
Not knowing that
This is how it is
Really to be
In this moment
Transitioning to the next
Not knowing
What there can be
Leaping forward
Holding back
Shaking, quaking

Only now
This moment
Surrendering to the insecurity
The wisdom of that movement
So that we can be bigger
Than we’ve ever been
Known ourselves to be
Letting go
Of the past
Of the possibility
Of any dream
That was then
Can’t be now

I let you go, my son
As you open to yourself
And open me to something bigger
Than ever was
I am so grateful
For this journey of wonder
We’ve traveled together
To this point
Of one becoming two
Becoming one
Becoming all.
Becoming.

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