Journey to Your Deepest Self

Let’s Pretend

Let’s pretend that everything is okay.
That my heart isn’t breaking.
That the grief I feel isn’t there.
That I don’t feel completely abandoned.
That I don’t feel completely alone.
That I’m not terrified of really showing you what I’m feeling.
That I’m not hating feeling all that I feel.
That you’re really tired.
That you’re not choosing to not be here with yourself or with me.
That none of this is going on.

Let’s pretend that nothing is hurting inside.
That we’re each only here for ourselves.
That we don’t really care.
That it’s the other, anyone but ourselves, that has a problem.
That it’s another day and it’s all okay now.
That if we ignore it enough, the pain will go away.
That this world is wonderful to be a part of.
That it’s all pretty and nice.
That we haven’t ruined it beyond repair.

Let’s pretend that things are going to change at any time.
That we don’t have to do anything different.
That there’s plenty of time for all of this to sort itself out.
That we’re not as terrified as we really are.
That we don’t feel completely hopeless.
That the pain we feel means there’s something wrong with us.
That maybe a pill, some booze, a drug, any distraction will fix.
That what we feel isn’t meant to be felt, doesn’t serve any purpose.
That if we just numb out, rise above it, that it will all be okay.

Let’s pretend that I don’t feel enraged about all the pretending.
That the despair isn’t there either.
That pretending is the best way we have of approaching all this.
That we don’t really care.
That if it all goes away, we’ll all be much better off anyway.
That this is what it’s like to be alive.
That we’re not killing ourselves each moment of each day.
That it’s supposed to be this way.
That the emptiness inside is what we’ve wanted all along.
That death isn’t as bad as it seems.
That it’s not us that’s manifesting the world the way it is.

Let’s pretend that somehow, somewhere love will finally show up.
That all of this will be a bad dream we suddenly wake up from.
That it’s possible for things to really shift.
That what I feel can get some relief.
That healing is really, really real.
That what I dream of can finally manifest.
That it’s all been worthwhile.
That I don’t have to pretend anymore.


6 Responses to “Let’s Pretend”

  1. Kathleen says:

    Thank you for not pretending…

  2. Aysha says:

    I feel what I’m feeling when I read this poem! Thank you.

  3. Magdalena says:

    feels empowering to read this… feels energizing, and at the same like a sinking stone in the depth of creation, a crack in the glass, a tear in the curtains.

  4. Pam says:

    Love the picture of the crow, accompanying this piece… yes… the poem touches me deeply… and even more so now.

  5. Luana says:

    Betty…Oh Betty…

    Thank You for this consept, this, counciousness/Will/Heart candy. This tingleing in My Body.

    Way to stand and delivor what Our Mother is worth….for the first time in all of history….Oh well, “better late than never.” right?

    Never go, always stay,

    Your Little Bad Girl,

  6. Linda says:

    Thanks for expressing Me! Wow. Feel you/me.

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